you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
