I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
