Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
