well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
