As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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