Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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