Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
ok first of all what the fuck
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
