just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
grandma shit on top of the toilet
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It's rum buckets o'clock
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
