I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
