Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
