When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
