you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize