bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
