What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
