So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
