At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
