If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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