This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
