is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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