just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
