She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
