that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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