He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize