i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
