So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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