Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
