At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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