i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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