You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
