you guys were way drunker than both of me
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize