Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Randomize
