We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
