My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
