She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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