the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
