Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
