I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
