thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
