hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
