She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
