you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
