Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
