Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
