swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We had sex on a dog bed..
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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