worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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