I wanna bring you to show and tell
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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