She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
