Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize