69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
