first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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