I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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