i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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