he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
