Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize