I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
