we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
