dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
we made out on top of his cat.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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