I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
