In the future we'll all be gay
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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