Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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