Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
