oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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