I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
