he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Alive.
So much puke
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
