I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize